Emootioista vapaa suhde

Who pays for sex? You'd be surprised:

It is difficult for a woman to understand what it is that a prostitute can offer these perfectly attractive men that a free sexual encounter — be it a one-night-stand or in a relationship — cannot. In an age when women are more sexually liberated and strings-free sex is a greater possibility than it ever was before, why are more and more young men choosing sex with a pro?

Disconcertingly, the men to whom I spoke suggested that lack of any emotional obligation is one of the most appealing attributes of paying for sex. It’s just a case of getting something out of the way, says Tom, who after his fifth (and, at the time of writing, final) encounter described how he felt a very cold reaction, very emotionless — you’ve lost that pent-up aggression and you just want to get out of there.

I have felt more guilt after one-nightstands than I have felt after going to a prostitute, says Sam. As long as prostitution is done in a legal and consensual way, there is almost more honesty in it than in picking up a girl in a bar, where you are toying with people’s emotions and giving false impressions in order to get something physical.

In the real world — that is, the world where sex stems from boy-meets-girl rather than boy-pays-girl — there are always emotional obligations attached, no matter how casual the liaison. Neither Sam nor Tom is an emotional vandal, the sort of man who swaggers blithely through women’s lives with a philosophy of love ’em and leave ’em.

They see themselves as the good guys, the ones who don’t want to lie, cheat and make promises that they can’t (or won’t) keep to have sex. So, with what seems perverse logic, they sleep with prostitutes instead.

Only one thing guarantees this understanding: money. When a man visits a prostitute, the mere act of handing over cash for services removes, in his mind, all emotional obligations to her.

The cold truth is that many men today, regardless of how eligible, rich and dashing they may be, don’t go to prostitutes because they can’t get laid. They go because, frankly, it’s an easier way of getting laid.

So, would I mind if my future husband admitted that in his past he had spent weekends in Amsterdam and Prague seeing prostitutes before we met? Probably. But again, is it really any worse than picking up a girl in a bar and lying his way into her pants simply because he was horny?