Meanan mukaan orgasmiakin tärkeämpää naiselle on tuntea itsensä halutuksi ja himoituksi.Mitä halutumpi olet, sitä enemmän seksuaalista valtaa sinulla on.
- Todellinen orgasmi on olla haluttu, sanoi Meana Oprahin vieraana ollessaan.
Tämä halutuksi tulemisen tunne kiihottaa Meanan mukaan kaikkia naisia ja on yhteinen tekijä, kun puhutaan naisista ja seksistä. Naiselle ei riitä tieto siitä, että mies haluaa seksiä - vaan nainen haluaa tietää, että mies haluaa seksiä juuri hänen kanssaan.
Meanan mukaan naiset kiinnittävät niin paljon huomiota ulkonäköönsä nimenomaan siksi, että haluavat tuntea olevansa haluttuja.
Dr. Marta Meana on Desire:
The Mating Game:
A mating game was shown from the Science of Sex Appeal that showed 10 men and 10 women who were dressed in identical outfits and were given the task of finding a mate with the highest number. The participants were assigned numbers that they were not aware of, but were able to see the numbers of the opposite sex. The process showed how after getting feedback, people will lower their expectations.
The second part of the study had the participants remove their numbers and choose a partner based on attraction. The results of that segment produced pairs that were within 1 point of their own attraction.
Dr. Berman explained that it is a natural part of the mating process to scan available partners to see who is "in my league." This can cause people to narrow the dating pool, but it is due to a lifetime of feedback to gauge your own personal number of attraction. Oprah shared that beautiful people don't have to try as hard because of the pass for being attractive.
Dr. Berman shared that the feedback we get from our parents and society make us have different values for our own attractiveness. Dr. Berman was told she was smart and good at school, while her sister was told that she was beautiful. Dr. Berman's sister grew to value herself for her beauty, but since beauty fades, it is more difficult then to find ways of valuing oneself.